{"product_id":"alaskan-alpine","title":"ALASKAN ALPINE","description":"\u003ch2\u003eOur Bestseller for a Reason.\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAlaskan Alpine smells like crisp pine, raw cedar bark, and clean mountain air. The kind of scent that makes people ask what cologne you're wearing. Except it's your laundry.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThis isn't your mama's laundry detergent. No flowers. No \"fresh linen.\" No 28-ingredient chemical cocktail from an orange jug. Just one pre-measured sheet, tossed in the wash, and your clothes come out smelling like you actually give a damn.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat You Get\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e30 detergent sheets.\u003c\/strong\u003e Roughly 2 months of laundry at 1-2 loads per week.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCologne-grade pine and cedar scent.\u003c\/strong\u003e Lasts for days, not hours.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003e11 simple ingredients.\u003c\/strong\u003e That's the whole list.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eWorks in any machine.\u003c\/strong\u003e HE compatible, hot or cold water, dissolves completely.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003e\n\u003cstrong\u003eCompact packaging.\u003c\/strong\u003e No plastic jugs clogging up your trash.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eHow It Works\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eGrab a sheet. Toss it in. Run your wash. That's it. No measuring cups, no spills, no lugging a heavy jug from the store. Each sheet dissolves completely and leaves zero residue.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eWhat's actually in the sheet.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e11 ingredients. That's the whole list. No 28-chemical cocktail. Not a marketing claim, just the formula.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eIngredient\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth\u003eWhat it does\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eSodium Lauryl Sulfate (SLS)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003ePrimary cleaner. Lifts dirt and oil out of fabric.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003ePolyvinyl Alcohol (PVA)\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe sheet itself. Dissolves completely in water.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eWater\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe carrier.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eFragrance Oils\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eThe reason your clothes smell like cologne.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eAlcohols, C12-15, ethoxylated\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBoosts cleaning power on tough stains.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003ePhenoxyethanol\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eKeeps the formula stable in the box.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eGlycerin\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eKeeps the sheet flexible until it hits water.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eTrisodium Citrate Dihydrate\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eSoftens hard water so detergent works better.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eDimethicone\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eHelps clothes feel softer out of the wash.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eSodium Carbonate\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eAdjusts water pH so the cleaners do their job.\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eEnzyme blend\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003eBreaks down protein and starch stains (food, sweat, grass).\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003e\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003ch3\u003eMembers of the Bastardhood save up to 33%.\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003csmall\u003eaccounting for shipping\u003c\/small\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eFree shipping on every order. Choose delivery every 4, 6, or 8 weeks. Skip, swap, or cancel anytime. No contracts, no BS. After 3 orders, you're a Member of the Bastardhood. Free Dirty Bastard merch from there on.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Dirty Bastard Laundry Co.","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":45688962973857,"sku":"DB-AA-30","price":21.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0694\/2926\/4545\/files\/aa_home_01_card_hero.png?v=1778098708","url":"https:\/\/getdirtybastard.com\/products\/alaskan-alpine","provider":"Dirty Bastard Laundry Co.","version":"1.0","type":"link"}